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Central Pennsylvania Burning
There was a time when I cared about politics. Not because I was interested in
politicians or government or any of that crap. But because I lived in a place
where I saw politics on the news on a regular basis.
Now I live in a place where the lead story on every newscast on every station is
the most recent house fire.
Tonight was a big night. There were five house fires and I can just see the look
of joy in the producers' eye as he decided how best to arrange such a bounty.
You have to lead with the fire where, tragically, a child was killed. Then you
move on down the list in order of proximity of the blaze to the local Catholic
school which is just about to shut its doors. You do this because the next major
story after house fires is Catholic school closings.
House fires are the attention grabber. WOW! FIRE! FIRE BAD! Now they've got you,
Cletus. On to the emotional roller-coaster that is scenes of teenagers crying
hysterically because their private school is closing due to lack of funding. How
ever will they survive being sent to - horror of horrors - public school? I
mean, like, those kids all wear jeans from like Wal-Mart or something.
I am waiting for the day that a Catholic school catches on fire. I think the
news casters' heads would explode with joy and/or confusion about how to report
such a thing.
I think it best to mention at this point that I do NOT condone the act of
setting Catholic schools on fire. Heaven forbid.
Yes, I do believe that all news producers are men. What of it? You can't put a
broad in charge of things like house fires.
Mmmm.... toasty broad fires.
Where was I? Oh, right.
Local news. Save me.
I've been told that there is some sort of election coming up here at some point. For a "president" or something? I'll have to wait until the White House burns down before I know who wins that contest.
02/20/07
